A week ago Saturday, I managed to escape to a wonderland of solitude in a coffee shop for a couple of hours–something my introvert heart had been in desperate need of. Words started flowing. Here they are all polished up.
This afternoon, my kids are snuggled up in their beds, with their daddy home to keep them safe, while I am in a random chair at the closest local coffee shop we’ve found, sipping water. (I finished my chai latte 15 minutes ago.) The playlist here is a combination of Christmas music and the Eagles. I’m working on a homemade gift for my sister. I finished a podcast episode a few minutes ago. I can hear tidbits of conversation from the other coffee drinkers and the baristas. The windows are oriented just right, here, for plenty of non-direct sunlight. I expected a fuller house, but maybe it’s naptime for more of the world than I realized. Or perhaps those who might have stopped in for afternoon drinks opted for a drive-through today, because they have shopping to do.
I used to love shopping. At the end of every school year, my sisters and I would take a whole day to shop the “sidewalk sales” at the mall, and then the clearance rack at our favorite stand-alone stores, competing with each other for the best bargains and the cutest finds. We had incredible stamina for walking, picking, carrying, trying on, negotiating with ourselves, and purchasing. I’m sure capitalism loved us.
Since having kids, shopping has become a chore. I do as much of it as I can online, and when I must bring the kids with me to try things on (swimsuits 2018 was a particularly fun one), it takes seven times longer than it should—because they need a snack, or they want to touch everything, or they just physically don’t get in and out of the car as fast as I—and with less than a seventh of the joy I used to get out of the “hunt.”
A yester Saturday afternoon may well have been spent happily at the mall. But now, I want to sit in a cafe.
I asked for a few hours from Justin, to recoup my little brain from the two-weeks-almost-straight he was out of town for work earlier this month. I considered trying to get some Christmas shopping done during my time away from the house, but, while that would have counted as “alone time,” I couldn’t have counted it as “me time.”
So here I sit.
We decided not to travel for any of the holidays this season. We’re missing several family parties. I’m not baking for any of them. I’m not being reminded CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS every time we would go to one. We don’t even have our teensy Christmas tree up at our house yet.
The Advent wreath is on the table. We light the right candles after dinner, listen to the day’s gospel, and offer a family prayer of thanksgiving. We try to emphasize to the kids that we’re waiting for Jesus. In my eagerness to share the liturgical calendar with them, it’s reminding me, too, to prepare myself and wait for the Lord.
The second week with Justin out of town surprisingly went more smoothly at home than the first. Luke turned two, and something just clicked with him about potty training. We’re down to only one accident a day this week. I also managed to take a couple of naps this week, and instead of scheduling myself social time (phone dates or friends coming over) every day after getting the kids in bed, as I did last week to keep myself “busy” without Justin here, I delved back into a book I started in October and then went to bed early (ish) every night.
Apparently I needed to allow myself some hermit mode time to read a book and sit and rest.
I’m grateful for the slow holiday season we’re having this year. It’s given me the chance to notice my wornness and to self-advocate, to ask for some me time. To stop at every Christmas tree in the stores (groceries still have to be bought) so the kids can marvel. To appreciate the nativity scene on the counter at the coffee shop. To stop in front of our holy family carving near the front door to ask Mary and Joseph to pray for me as I struggle to find patience for my own kids. To really do Advent before Christmas!
How do you slow down to take care of yourself or wait for Jesus in December? Tell me in the comments below!