Frozen is the New Dumbo

…for me. In the tears department.

Let me begin with an illustration. Justin is putting a new door handle on the front door, the kids are running in circles “trying to catch Elsa,” and I’m on the couch trying to read Jane Eyre but being distracted by the movie on screen. Half an hour earlier, I tried to sing “Let it Go” along with Elsa and Miryam, but tears were rising to my eyes and I couldn’t get the lyrics out. And now, I have a lump in my throat again watching the reprise of “First Time in Forever;” it’s over; the snow monster throws them out of the ice palace; Olaf makes a comment about his butt; Anna shouts, “It is NOT NICE to throw people!” and I burst into laughter and then immediately into real tears.

So. Hormones are a thing.

In other words, this is my internet-wide official pregnancy announcement. Baby is due at the end of July. (Woo!)

When I was pregnant with Luke, I had trouble falling asleep at night. I would get so upset by being so tired and still awake that I would end up literally crying myself to sleep several nights. Eventually, Justin suggested that I make myself cry before even trying to go to bed. I resisted, obviously, because I hate crying…

It turned into him threatening to pull up the scene from Dumbo where Dumbo visits his mother through the grate, with “Baby of Mine” playing in the background, on his phone and forcing me to watch. Sometimes he’d just start singing the song. I wanted to punch him, right there in the bed.

But one night, he followed through on his threat. He made me watch it, the whole dang song, and I cried for a few minutes or so—cathartic, exhaustive, pregnant-hormone-sustained sobbing—and then I went to sleep directly!

He was right.

This pregnancy has coincided with Miryam declaring Frozen her favorite movie, so I’ve been watching the movie and listening to the soundtrack frequently. Additional exposure and time for analysis have led me to my conclusion that Frozen is the saddest Disney movie.

The “incident” in the beginning was poorly handled. The gloves were a terrible idea. Elsa needed a coach (and/or a therapist), not a sentence to solitary confinement. None of the rest of the plot should have happened!

(That’s the short version of my rant.)

Don’t get me wrong: I do enjoy the movie! However, especially when pregnant, I just can’t put aside how sad it all is.

I suspect this super emotional association may remain indefinitely (beyond pregnancy hormones), meaning I might be doomed to cry at this princess movie forever.

When I was a very new mom, like, less than a week postpartum with my first baby, I was rocking and nursing Miryam, while my dad played songs on his guitar and sang along. I was singing the harmony on the songs I knew. We were happily chugging along to “Chicken Fried” by the Zac Brown Band, when the line “Feel the touch of a precious child / And know a mother’s love” snuck up on me. I started crying and couldn’t stop for several minutes. Postpartum hormones can be even more volatile than their pregnancy precursors. Anyway, to this day, I cannot make it through that line with a voice still intact and dry eyes. Even just typing the lines a moment ago brought tears into my eyes. It’s been over four years since that evening in the rocking chair! Forever associated. Probably because I’m forever a mother, now.

I don’t even know how sensical any of this is. I blame the hormones and the “pregnant brain.” (I also blame pregnancy fatigue and scatter-brained-ness for my rarely posting the last few months!)

There you have it. Now you know.