Miryamisms (age 3)

My girl, Miryam, turned four earlier this week! So, here’s a fun little compilation of some of the hilarious and thought-provoking things she uttered as a three-year-old. (The ones I remembered to write down at the time, anyway.)

As a side note, if you have a child close to you in your life, I highly recommend keeping a running google doc or “Note”–something you can access from your phone at a moment’s notice–to jot down the funny and profound things they say, right away. I can usually remember the gist later, but I find it more satisfying to know I got it down verbatim. And sometimes I end up saying to Justin at the end of the day, “Miryam said something hilarious today that I couldn’t wait to tell you about, but I didn’t write it down, and now I can’t even remember what it was about at all.” Save yourself from this quandary! Start your google docs today!

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In above image, the previous page said, “This ball has less mass. Less mass, less force. This ball has more mass. More mass, more force.” But Miryam was telling Luke:
“This ball is teensy. This ball is ginormous!”

“If you don’t let me eat pizza, I’ll have a cough forever.”

Miryam told her CareBear (grandma) about how Luke “ruined her cake” (poked the top of one of the layers while it was cooling, pre-icing)
CareBear: Why do you think he would do that?
Miryam: Because he’s a mischief boy.

finds out these stickers are reusable
“I want to use them a googol times!”

“He’s not a dinosaur. He’s a stegosaurus.”

Miryam: (nearly in tears) Mommy I’m feeling sad.
Me: Why, sweetie?
Miryam: Because Laura isn’t coming to my birthday.
Me: Laura has school and other responsibilities so she can’t come all the way to Texas. But we’ll see her a few weeks later when we go to Missouri.
Miryam: How many days is that?
Me: It’s still about a month and a half away.
Miryam: (looks sad)
Me: But Mary and Kellie are coming here to your birthday party!
Miryam: But I want all my aunts to come to my birthday. (frown)
Me: It’s so hard to be so far away from family, isn’t it? It’s okay to be sad about that.

“I’m going to sleep for a million minutes. When it’s time to die I’ll wake up and die.”

Wearing pink head to toe
“Mommy, I guess I’m just a little gaudete girl!”

Justin: (to me) Do you think our children look more like Texans now that they have boots?
Miryam: You guys are not Texans. Mommy and Luke are Missouri guys. … Daddy is an Oklahoma guy. I’m a Texas girl.
She is, in fact, the only one of us born in Texas.

“Next year on Halloween, I’m going to tell daddy to cook bigos. And I’m going to be a ghost for Halloween.”

vaguely remembers I told her we’re visiting her grandparents in March
“Are we going to go marching to CareBear and PapaBear’s?”

Me: Can I just take a nap while you get dressed?
Miryam: No!
Me: Why not?
Miryam: Because you’re already awake, and then you’ll get too much rest, and then you’ll die!

Miryam: Is there toys in Heaven for kids?
Me: I don’t know…I think Jesus is so fun that you don’t even need toys.

“I love this day. It’s so nice to have a picnic.”
five minutes later
“I love this day. It’s so peaceful and quiet.”

“I’m too tired from all that sleeping to pick a plate.”

Grammy asked her if she knew how to make a milk shake.
“Yes, it has water, tea, coffee, and wine.”

Miryam: Is there any concerts tonight?
(Siri registered “Can you die”)
Siri: Goodbye would be more polite.

“I checked my intestines but it sounded like it said there’s no more poop left.”

“Mommy, I’m better than Luke and you at blowing out candles, because I blow them out more sensibly.”

Justin: Miryam, are you going to help us pick out pumpkins?
Miryam: Yes! I want to pick out a million pumpkins!
Me: That would exceed our budget.
Justin: And the capacity of our house.
Miryam: If we got a million pumpkins, then everybody could have a piece of bread.
As in pumpkin bread. She wants to share with the whole world.

sulfuric smell
“Mommy, there’s stagnant water around here.”