Squishy Sand

Or, A Lesson in Flexibility, since a lot of the rules are changed these days.

I must preface this with: I love my next door neighbor, she is an absolute gem, and so thoughtful of my kids pretty much daily. She’s like an extra grandma for them, which is so special when their real grandmas are far away in other states. Like a grandma, though, she sometimes falls into thinking only of the fun the kids will have, and not the mess the mom will have to [at minimum help] clean up, when she finds something cool.

She’s been going through some old boxes in her garage, and my kids have been the beneficiaries of many a random old (often technically brand new, but the box has been sitting there for years) toy or craft item. One week it was a baggie of capsules that dissolve in water to reveal animal-shaped sponges. A couple days later, it was a stack of “North American wildlife” mini postcards. Last week, it was “squishy sand.”

She gave the unopened box to Miryam—who had obtained Daddy’s permission to go knock on the neighbor’s door beforehand—and she texted me, relaying to me what she’d told M:

“I told her that it’s not sand like outside, that it’s a special kind that you can shape and mold. It would probably be best to put it on a big cookie sheet or something.”

So what Miryam heard was, “You do NOT play with this outside.”

I got out a rimmed baking sheet. I offered to get out two of them and split the sand between Miryam and Luke, but they wanted to “build stuff” together, so they sat side by side in front of the large baking dish full of “sand.”

Long story short, the rim on the baking dish I chose wasn’t really very useful. I should have put it in a deep bowl or something, I don’t know. I had instructed them firmly not to put sand on their faces (in mouths/eyes) and to keep the sand in the pan.

But….

They’re 3 and 5 after all. I should have known better. I should have followed my instinct to override the neighbor’s note about “not like outdoor sand” and made them play with it outdoors. But I didn’t.

The kicker here is that I had just mopped the kitchen floor the day before. Now, by “mopped,” I mean I spot-cleaned the floor with a washcloth. I do vacuum the kitchen floor for crumbs pretty frequently, but the wet “mopping” part is…not so often. Because of the “squishy” aspect of this “sand” (I suspect it’s the same stuff you can DIY with flour and baby oil), the vacuum didn’t cut it.

I had to mop two days in a row: this was a low point in my week.

In addition, their hands and clothes were covered in it. I let them continue to play until I was sure my window of Happy Baby was getting too small to be able to clean the big siblings up before it ended. I sent them to the bathroom, instructing them to strip and hop in the bathtub. I followed them down the hallway with the vacuum running. I gave them washcloths and turned the shower on warm. Then they got to play in the water while I cleaned up in the kitchen, nursed the baby, and recollected my sanity for a few moments.

Is all the sand off of you yet? No? Quickly, rub it off with the washcloth. Time to get out, that’s wasting water now. Go put on clean clothes. It’s rest time.

There was some self-berating. That was not a smart move: there was no way it could have ended with me not frustrated.

I threw all of the squishy sand in the trash. The 50% of it that could have been salvaged, I decided was not worth their short-lived fun and my bubbling anxiety over its mess.

Fast forward to bedtime last night: Miryam told me about her plans for her favorite stuffed bunny, Easter E, to have her birthday party at a park. She would invite Frederick (her stuffed mouse), whether he wanted to go or not, and of course Pengee the penguin. They would all climb on things and have a great time.

“I miss the park, mommy.”
“Me, too, sweetie.”

All the rules are changed. The neighbor found a new-in-box art easel in her garage for my kids. Now they have chalk inside the house. I built them a blanket fort for the first time ever. The next day, they built a couch-cushion fort next to the blanket fort, which completely blocks the way from the living room to the sunroom without giant steps over (adults) or crawling through (children). We’ve resorted surprisingly little to screen time, thanks to the beautiful weather, perfect for riding trikes and balance bikes and digging for bugs for hours. Even that’s against our usual rules—this time a positive change—because the backyard isn’t fenced, so if they play outside I have to check on them every 3-5 minutes (which makes it hard to get anything done) or go out with them (which makes it impossible to get anything done). But with Justin working from home and doing lots of yard work and projects outside when he’s not on conference calls, he can supervise them for extended periods, and we all get a little more of what we want. On rainy days we have been known to watch multiple movies, though.

Anyway, point being: I calmed down about the squishy sand within a day. Afterward I could appreciate it for its value: a one-time-use stay-home-orders change-of-pace messy play aid for the kids. And a lesson in patience / opportunity to cultivate a servant’s heart / exercise in flexibility for me. Overall I don’t regret it.

But I also won’t be repeating it. 😉